


stars

by matteohnos



Series: almost kisses [1]
Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: M/M, Not Canon Compliant, They have a conversation, an almost kiss, first person pov because it works better for this, matteo-central, mentions of david's outing, there's lots of comparisons for some reason, they're sat outside, this is just the two of them
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-11-01
Updated: 2019-11-01
Packaged: 2021-01-15 12:08:37
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,234
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21253157
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/matteohnos/pseuds/matteohnos
Summary: I could kiss him -- I almost kiss him, right here.His eyes shine brighter than any star above, and he's got his hand against my cheek. all I can feel is warmth, despite the cold weather. all I can see is brown eyes, and a shy smile.I think he wants this as much as i do.or, the boys have a moment outside of the WG.





	stars

David. His name is David.

The first time I saw him, my breath was taken away.

His eyes are warm, and his voice is soft. His lips are full, and he feels like sunshine. He has this familiarity, this warmth, to him that i've never been able to place. The world is cold, but David is warmer than any fire. I feel like there's a fire in my heart, and it's heat, it's flames, are burning low. There was something wrong in my heart, until David.

There's a before David, and an after David.

Thinking of who i was before David is like trying to remember something that never happened.

I was lost, missing something I didn't know I needed. I was like a puzzle, missing a piece, and David was that missing piece. I had no motivation for anything, I had no reason to be happy. I would lie in bed all day, not focus in school. I'd cheat in school, and I'd hurt people, and be distant.

Me after David is someone I'm more proud of being.

I'm a better person. I'm so much happier with David. I'm so much more than what I was. It was like I changed completely after meeting him. But I'm better now. I think I really am in love with David.

We've known each other for a while, and I've found myself growing attached to him, and wanting to be with him. I knew it was impossible, but thought of being able to hold David close, to kiss him and tell him that I loved him and to just be close enough to know him and be able to surround myself with him, was enough for me to keep hoping, to keep holding onto this unforgettable love.

Whenever I see people talking to their friends about people they like, they get all giggly and flustered and that's how I act with David. But the thing is, unlike the crushes the other people at school had, my one never went away, or diminished with time.

It grew stronger by the day, and it was the type of love that made everything feel beautiful and sweet and good. It makes you feel on top of the world. It's a love that fills you with happiness and longing and it's the type of love where that love can make you better.

I remember finding him one evening on the floor outside of the apartment building. I don't know why he's here, but it's cold, and it's dark, and I'm concerned about him a little. Why is he here? Did something bad happen? Is he okay?

After David was outed, he's always been different. Maybe he doesn't trust me. Maybe he just doesn't trust other people. He's been through so much.

He's so strong, and I admire him for it. At his old school, he was treated badly. He had to leave. That's why he transferred so close to the end of the school year.

I hate David's parents. I hate the people who bullied him at his old school, who misgendered him, called him by the wrong name. I hate everyone who hurt him. How could you ever hurt someone like David? He is such an amazing boy, better than anyone I know.

I've always compared David to a phoenix. They burn, and get hurt, but that pain helps them grow, and it can be a most beautiful thing.

The sky above is inky black, with very few stars lighting it. I immediately notice the star that is the brightest, and I like to imagine that the star smiles like that because of David. No one normally returns to the apartment building this late, so everyone who lives in one of them surely must have arrived home by now.

David looks happy to see me. He must've been sitting here for a while. Maybe he expected me home earlier than this. But he's been waiting for me.

I step towards him, and he reaches out to me.

"Please sit with me, Matteo." he says softly, looking at me with those puppy eyes.

"Okay." I whisper carefully, sitting down next to him.

The porch light is lighting up David's skin. His brown eyes are filled with soft orange embers, his lips look so soft and I can't stop looking at them. I really want to kiss him. The smile on his face is small and shy, but it's the prettiest sight.

"What are you doing here?" I ask, when David has been quiet for a bit.

I'm never sure if he wants to sit in silence, or he's waiting for me to speak. 

He seems to have wanted me to speak, because that's when he really looks at me. His eyes are sparkly, and it's cold outside, but he has the warmth of a hundred suns.

"I wanted to see you." David mumbles.

David never normally mumbles. He's never actually this shy. He's normally the one talking enough for the two of us, but he's not even talking enough for himself.

"You did?" I tease him a little, but I don't mean it.

David exhales and nods, looking away. I can see a reddish flush on his cheeks. The only thing on my mind is, 'he's so beautiful.' because he is _so_ beautiful. more beautiful than anything else I've ever seen.

"That star," David points to the one I noticed, the brightest in the sky, "is called Sirius A." he tells me. "It has a companion, Sirius B, the dimmest star up there."

He turns to look at me.

"I think I'm more like Sirius B." He says.

The way he looks at me shows that he can't see himself the way I always have. That he doesn't know how good he is. He's the A. I'm the B. I wish he would know that.

I press my hand against his cheek. Although it is freezing outside, and I am cold in the many layers I'm wearing, David always feels warm. It's kind of strange. But he's the closest to sunshine that anyone will ever be.

I could kiss him -- I _almost_ kiss him, right here.

His eyes shine brighter than any star above, and he's got his hand against my cheek. all I can feel is warmth, despite the cold weather. all I can see is brown eyes, and a shy smile.

I think he wants this as much as i do.

"David, you're more like Sirius A."

I look at him adoringly. And then I take a breath. I lean in, and I think he begins to do the same.

His nose presses against my cheek, and it's happening. My other hand is against his arm, and he's leaning into my touch like he needs it.

And I almost kiss him. But just as our top lips touched, we jumped apart. Someone had cleared their throat in front of us -- some man with shopping bags in his hands. We moved out of the way. When we talked after that, it was quite awkward. 

"See you tomorrow at school?"

He looks like he's hoping for a yes.

I tell him that I will see him tomorrow, and that's enough for him -- he waves me goodbye, and starts walking away. The universe may be against me getting the boy I want, but even just small moments with him are enough.


End file.
